Strengthening Your Roots through Meditation

Join Brooke as she shares thoughts and ideas about what meditation has done for her and what meditation can do for you. Tune into your vibrations and consciously raise your awareness through meditation. Listen for more with Brooke Jean Counseling and Coaching.

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Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

Settling Into Our New Normal

How are you settling into what is our 'new normal' and what is the larger spiritual assignment during this time? Listen as Brooke Jean shares her thoughts and insights on navigating our new realities.

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Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

Mindfulness During Uncertain Times

Brooke Jean explores ways to use Mindfulness as a tool during times of uncertainty. How do you create space for your feelings of fear and anxiety while also consciously noticing the good in every day? This practice is essential for keeping our minds well. Listen for more with Brooke Jean Counseling and Coaching

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Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

Mommy's Mental Health Matters, Series Expert: Terra LaRock

Join Brooke Jean with Brooke Jean Counseling and Coaching on her journey to exploring, sharing, and supporting all things for Mommy’s Mental Health!

In this monthly interview series, Brooke talks with other experts who are also passionate about and working to support mental health and the pressure on mothers. The first expert is Terra LaRock, CEO, and founder of The Mindful Mamas and creator of the Mindful Mama’s app.

Join Brooke and Terra as they discuss all things mindfulness, including working through anxiety, how to make a Holy shift!, and how to integrate mindfulness as a successful habit- all in this quick 30-minute series expert interview.

If you’re a mama looking for a little support and inspiration, join #BJCC’s Mommy’s Mental Health Matters group on Facebook.

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Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

Reflect and Rise for 2020

Let's talk about New Year's resolutions and why they aren't all that great. Brooke Jean with Brooke Jean Counseling and Coaching wants to invite you to Reflect and Rise to make this coming year a magical one.

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Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

Belly Breathing

Are you struggling with BIG Feelings such as stress, rage, overwhelm, anxiety, or Mom Guilt?

Does it feel like no matter what you do, you are stuck in that big feeling even though you desperately want to get out?

The reason why feelings can be so intense is because we are having a body reaction. Our nervous systems are firing away.

In this video, you will learn how to leverage Belly Breathing to calm down.

Here is why it works:

The Vagus nerve is one of the largest nerves in our systems linking our brains to our bodies.

When we engage in deep belly breathing, we tickle the bottom of the Vagus nerve, which then sends a message to our brains that we are safe and all is okay. Then, our brains release hormones that help us calm down, and when we calm our rational brain comes back online and we can take more conscious action.

Watch the video and try belly breathing when you are in the heat of any BIG FEELING and let us know how it goes for you.

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Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

5 Signs You're Struggling with Mom Guilt

Are you a mama struggling with Mom Guilt?

If so, you are so not alone, sister.

I have yet to meet one single mama who hasn’t experienced some form of Mom Guilt.

In my most recent vlog, I share 5 signs you are struggling with Mom Guilt, and some tips on what you can do about it.

In a nutshell – our conditioning (messages we received growing up) about what at “good enough” Mom looks like have developed unconscious beliefs about what we “should” and “should not” be doing.

When we don’t follow the rules, we experience Mom Guilt.

BUT these old rules we are living by are not always true, relevant, or helpful.

We also struggle to notice how amazing we already are, thanks to our brain’s evolution.

AND we often have an area we do need to level up on to reduce Mom Guilt.

Check out the video to learn the signs…

To join my mailing list to be the FIRST to receive the launch of my course “Kick Mom Guilt to the CURB!” Get access here.

If you’re a mama looking for support, learn more about how I can help here!

Join my private FB group for connection and laughs here.

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Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

Why Self-Care is the MOST Important Strategy for Success Edit

Learn why this wildly successful working mama believes self-care is the most important strategy for success.

In my summit, Moms Living a Life they Love, I interviewed several brilliant, power-house business women who are also Moms on how they overcome barriers to have both, a successful career and flourishing family.

This Mom is a friend of mine who I have been inspired by in our community for several years. Holly Scott sets the bar for living the life she wanted and created. Somehow she makes being the VP of Wiesner Media, the Group Publisher of two very popular local magazines Mountain Living and Colorado Homes & Lifestyles, a very involved Mom of two boys and wife look not only fun but easyC

She has over 20 years of experience in the publishing and media industry. During her 15 years at Network Communications and WiesnerMedia, Inc., she elevated the company’s Home Design brands through increased sales revenues, product development, operations, mentorship, training, senior management, and marketing development.

In 2011, she authored “Sales University,” a weekly sales training program she developed and conducted for the company. In addition, she has hosted a Women’s Retreat to coach young women professionals about building confidence and creating work-life balance.

In my interview with her she shares:

• Self-Care is #1 in her life and how that helps her

• There really are NO EMERGENCIES

• Her art of balance and time management

• How to give yourself permission

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Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

How to Advocate for Yourself on the Job to have Work/ Life Balance

How to advocate for yourself on the job to have work/ life balance- An Interview with Beth Feldman – Founder of the Role Mommy Blog and Co-Founder of Beyond PR Group.

In my summit, Moms Living a Life they Love, I interviewed several brilliant, power-house business women who are also Moms on how they overcome barriers to have both, a successful career and flourishing family.

This down-to-earth and brave working mama thought outside of the box and had the courage to ask for what she needed to have both family and a big career. Beth Feldman experienced great success working for CBS before launching her own entrepreneurial endeavors. Using the gifts she already had, she launched two successful companies/brands.

She is the co-founder of Beyond PR Group, a a full-service public relations consulting firm founded by leading experts in the parenting, consumer, lifestyle and entertainment PR industry. She is also the founder of RoleMommy, a parenting blog network, online community and events company dedicated to inspiring, entertaining empowering today’s busy parents to pursue their passion while raising a family.

As a nationally recognized parenting expert, Feldman is frequently interviewed by national and regional news media on career re-invention, social media, parenting tweens and work-life balance. She has appeared on broadcast news programs such as “Good Morning America,” “Nightline,” Better TV, ABC News Now, Fox News Channel, “Inside Edition,” WCBS-TV and CW-11 Morning News and has been quoted as an expert resource by national news sources such as Associated Press and The New York Times. Feldman is the co-author of Peeing in Peace: Tales & Tips for Type A Moms (Sourcebooks) and is the author and editor of the humor anthology See Mom Run – Sidesplitting Essays from the World’s Most Harried Moms (Plain White Press).

In my interview with her she shares:

• How essential is it to advocate for yourself to get what you want.

• Be daring, courageous, and creative!

• Use skills and connections YOU ALREADY HAVE.

• Tips on how to start blogging.

• Values – let them steer and guide you….

Go to Beth’s blog Role Mommy for some hilarious and helpful stuff!

Learn more about how my coaching program can help you advocate for yourself at work here!

Set up your FREE discovery call today to get busy making BIG THINGS happen in your life, while feeling your best!

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Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

Discover your Purpose and Passion to live a whole-hearted and healthy life.

Discover your purpose and passion to live a whole-hearted and healthy life.

Why is purpose and passion so important to your overall wellness?

Because when we live authentically, according to our values, and for our purpose, work doesn’t feel like work.

We wake up inspired for the day and for the impact, whether large or small, we are making on the world around us.

Our work takes up a significant portion of our time, energy, and life and therefore if we do not enjoy what we are doing, it’s a long run to retirement.

Discovering your purpose and living with passion enables you to enjoy the journey, the here and now, no longer waiting for retirement.

Some questions to ask yourself and reflect on in a quiet space to connect you with your calling are:

What wrongs are you wanting to make right?

What is your favorite thing to do?

What activity makes you feel in connection with yourself and others?

What is your struggle and your story and what would others learn from it?

What brings you joy and fulfillment?

If you could wake up tomorrow and time, money, education, all of it wasn’t a factor, what would you be doing?

These are just a few questions I explore with my clients who are ready and willing to start fulfilling their purpose.

Once you have decided what you are passionate about and what your purpose might be, its time to develop plans and begin taking action to help you get there.

Start with a vision and work your goals backwards to where you are today!

A career change, even when chasing your dreams, can be terrifying.

You are in transition, meaning you do not know what will happen and how it will all work out. This experience can create feelings such as fear, anxiety, worry, second-guessing and so much more.

Enlisting in a counselor or coach as a guide through your process can be immeasurably helpful for the discovery, planning, doing and processing parts of all of this.

Learn more about how I help clients live their best lives here!

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

Being In Transition: Part I- Grief

How to Deal with Change: 3 Steps.

Step 1:  GRIEF

Throughout our lifetimes, each of us will encounter many different love, life and career transitions. Whether it be transitioning from childhood into adolescence and adulthood, from college to career, from losing a job to getting a promotion, losing a parent to becoming one, or hitting the “mid-life crisis,” there are periods of time that rock our world to its core and potentially change the path that we are on as a human being.

Many people dread these periods of time, fear them, avoid them, run from them.

But I have a different perspective. Although absolutely challenging, these are points in time that are filled with opportunities. Opportunities to deal with past hurts we are carrying around that are subconsciously getting in our way of being our best selves. Opportunities to identify patterns in our life that are no longer serving us. Opportunities to change coarse and become who we are meant to be. These are the richest times of our lives, if we know how to maximize the opportunity.

Being in a few life transitions myself, and specializing in transition as a counselor and coach, I wanted to share my three step process in using this time wisely (and surviving the storm!)

I am getting ready to bring my daughter into the world. My family is growing after many years of being what we were (a family of 3, but also part of a larger blended family). My first born is starting high school this year which is another huge transition, and I have launched a business that is growing and constantly in transition. Using the three step process, I have not only become comfortable with being in transition, but truly believe I am making the most of it.

And I feel compelled to share this with you!

The three part process includes:

Grief
Becoming
Adjustment/ Reconnection

So…for this blog, I am going to share part one of being in transition which is GRIEVING.

Each transition brings LOSS and often this loss might trigger past losses.

Our culture has the tendency to encourage us to focus on the future, what’s next, to be excited and grateful for whats to come. Which can be helpful. BUT if we don’t take time to consciously grieve what was, these feelings can manifest themselves in other ways later on. Grieving allows us to tap into our feelings to therefore express them, to acknowledge what was, whether good or bad, and to do some deeper reflection ultimately increasing self-awareness. From this place we can remain more grounded and intentional as we move forward.

As you are entering or going through a transition, here are a few ways in which you can consciously grieve. You can ask yourself the following questions and sit with them in meditation, prayer, journal them, or share with someone you trust (such as a therapist!!)

What is the transition I am in? You might be noticing a theme here with all my offerings, everything starts with awareness, acknowledgement, and naming what is going on. This is a instrumental first step. You might say something like, “I am aware that I am entering a life transition where I am having another baby, therefore changing my family life.”

Identify the feelings coming up around the transition. For this, you may need to dedicate 10- 15 minutes to sit in silence to allow the feelings to emerge. We get really good at subconsciously repressing, even unintentionally. So give yourself time, space and permission to tap in. Do a body scan and notice and feelings you might be holding in your body. What are they? You might say, “I notice I am feeling a sadness around my first born not being my only child anymore, and some anxiety around how this transition is going to effect my marriage, and some loneliness in being pregnant.”

Reflect on how you got here. I am finding myself in a unique situation where I had my first born 14 years ago in college and am just now adding to my family. How I got here is a long story, but one that if I fully honor it, I can pull out pearls of strength I have leveraged over the years and also things about myself that need further attention that led me down paths that weren’t in my best interest. Look at your story through a compassionate lens. Recognize the good and take accountability for what you would change.

Use coping skills to sit in the unknown. One of the most challenging parts of being in transition is that we can’t plan and predict everything that is going to happen next, which our brains do not appreciate. I have no real idea how my family life is going to look and feel in one month from now, let alone one year, five years, and so on. I have no control over many components of what’s to come and that can be terrifying. This is where it can be helpful to lean on your spirituality or trust in something greater. When discomfort arises being in this unknown territory, identify the feelings, take a breath, and remind yourself that you are ready and prepared to take on whatever comes your way, and that you trust that all will work out. Because let’s face it, haven’t you made it through every challenging thing you have encountered thus far? Why would this situation be any different? Take another breath. Share your thoughts and feelings with someone you trust.

Capture this phase and these moments. Enjoy these last days, weeks, months being that family of three, or in that position at work, or with your girlfriends being single post-split. Take pictures and be present. You will not always be in this place, as the one constant is change and very soon you will find yourself in a different position. Remember who you were at this time so we can start working on step two of this process which is all about BECOMING.

Although this may not appear to be the fun part of the process, trust me when I say its essential. It will clear space for what’s to come. It will release unnecessary garbage you are carrying around with you. It will provide you personal insights that allow for better self-awareness therefore deeper connections with others. And, it can help you appreciate yourself and all you have been through while empowering you to take courageous steps moving forward that elevate your life in so many ways.

This is the work I am oh so passionate about. If you would benefit from having a guide to help you navigate your love, life or career transition, call me today! If you need support through this grief, but also want to identify the patterns to ultimately make intentional adjustments to your life, let’s get to work now. Click here to find out more information about me and how we can work together. www.BrookeJeanllc.com

Let’s make a minor change in our mindset today by seeing change and transition differently…as an OPPORTUNITY!

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

Unlocking the 6 Psychological Keys to Reaching Your Potential

In the workforce today, many of us struggle to balance it all: work, family, friends, hobbies, pleasure and more.  We are often overworked, burnt out, and just going through the motions.  In my experience both as a professional counselor as well as a corporate leader I have found that people tend to focus on the wrong things to help them grow, reach their potential, and create a life filled with meaning and purpose.  They go searching externally for answers when I have found that the secret to their success lies within them.

In developing a coaching plan to help folks reach new heights, I integrate counseling to unlock what I call the six psychological keys to reaching potential.  These are six categories to explore that involve taking a deeper look into our inner world and how they impact our personal and professional lives (in this piece 3 of the 6 will be shared).  The process begins with doing some soul searching to lay the foundation of the work.  Before providing assessments and tips, it is beneficial to assess whether or not one is living authentically, and in congruence with their values.

Some questions to ask yourself when exploring your purpose and values are: What aspects of my life are filling my tank versus sucking it dry? What interests have I lost contact with that used to bring me energy and joy? What types of activities do I look forward to? When do I feel most passionate? What means the most to me (relationships, honesty, money, integrity, responsibility, just to name a few?) Then take a piece of paper and on one side write out all the things that emerge from these questions. On the other side write in the top section things you are doing that are in line with your values and on the bottom, things you are doing that are not in line with your values. It is almost impossible to really reach our own unique potential when we are not living authentically or have lost our passion, interests, and values.

Once you have defined what’s most important, now you can begin to form your professional presence. This can include identifying signature strengths and blind spots. What’s interesting is that typically what we are great at is also what we enjoy to do. For example, if you enjoy being with people, odds are your strengths are related to working with a team, perhaps being a leader or a helper. If you love organization or innovation, perhaps your strengths are to be the visionary, goal setter, or strategist. To realize your blindspots, you’ll need to request open and honest feedback. This can be tough! You can email your friends, family, partner, team or peers an evaluation for them to fill out and drop in your mailbox. Knowing what we are great at and what we can work on to grow will serve as beneficial in the quest to ultimately reach your potential.

Next, in order to reach our individual potential, one of the obstacles we must address head on is…yes…the inner critic. What is it you tell yourself that gets in the way of you going for it, chasing your dreams? What self-talk do you engage in and who’s voice is it? What are you scared of? Once we know what the critic has to say, we can then begin to challenge it head on. You can add another voice to this inner dialogue, one that believes in you and wants you to take risks in order to grow and reach new heights.

Hopefully, this information can get you started on the journey to reaching your potential.

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

Embracing Darkness: An Necessary Component of Self-Acceptance

Last week I invited a good friend of mine over for some Chinese food, wine, and the documentary on Amy Winehouse.  Waking up the next morning, I realized just how deeply affected I was by her story and more specifically by her relationship with her dark side.  Having suffered from an eating disorder in combination with excessive drinking for many of my younger years, I too have a similar darkness, but it hasn’t been until recently (and after serious therapy) I have come to explore and embrace all parts of myself.

There are always two sides to the coin, to the yin and yang, and one without the other offsets the balance.  When I reflect on Amy’s story, I am astonished by her talent and how her unique gift was to share her darkness through lyric and song.  She had a keen ability to tap into her inner wisdom and shed light on her internal struggles in such a resourceful and insightful way.  Many people, however, ignore or repress their dark side, for it is scary, angry, embarrassing, overwhelming or jealous.  And yet in my experience it is also creative, beautiful, soulful, artistic, and honest.  In order to accept ourselves, we must meet and make peace with our dark side, and perhaps in the long run even use it to shine brighter in the world.

For example…I know I can be fiery, intense, and downright challenging sometimes. And yet that also comes across as passionate, driven, and courageous when channeled appropriately. When our darkness is unconscious, we don’t have much control over how it rears its ugly head. When we bring those parts of ourselves into our awareness, we can begin to understand our desires, impulses, and patterns.

When we understand our patterns we can alter them positively or use them strategically.

So how do we get in touch with these parts of ourselves? First – when feeling down, low, depressed and dark – take a look around and allow yourself to immerse into the experience. Draw, write, dance, or tap into your creativity during your dark times. Don’t shame yourself for feeling low, it’s part of the human experience. Note: If your depression continues or hinders your ability to get out of bed, eat, or ensure basic safety needs are met, please do reach out for additional support.

In what ways have self-destruction and self-sabotaging behaviors impacted your life? How do you talk to yourself when no one is listening? What patterns and habits are you engaging in that are no longer serving you well? In what ways have you hurt others? What parts of your personality do you perceive as undesirable? This is all information that can provide insight into your darkness. But as you discover these parts – be careful to remember WE ALL have a dark side. We all have things we wish were different about ourselves. But without our darkness, we wouldn’t be our whole and true authentic selves. So, rather than trying to change it, or repress it, I would encourage us all to greet it with a gentle and curious nature. Why is it there? How does it help us? My fiery nature keeps me moving forward, constantly growing, and able to defend myself. That’s not all bad is it? This is a process and takes time but if you have even taken the step to consider your darkness, you are well on your way to acceptance!

I want to hear from you…How does your darkness help and hinder you? What creative forces emerge from your darkness? What ways have you been able to channel these parts of yourself?

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

The 4 Myths of Happiness

Prior to entering the field of counseling, I wholeheartedly believed that the ultimate goal in life was to be happy. Upon further reflection I began to ask myself questions such as “What does happy look and feel like?” and “How do I know when I have achieved HAPPINESS?” Paired with years of my own personal struggles, I began to wonder if there was something wrong with me that I usually didn’t start each day happy. On the contrary, I usually wake up relatively grumpy, refusing to get out of bed and face the day. I snooze for at least thirty minutes and throw a full blown adult fit on my way to the shower (usually bumping into a wall or two on the way). It isn’t until I have had my coffee or tea and arrived wherever it is I need to be that I actually accept the day.

Learning different methodologies for helping people in the counseling realm led me to ACT – Acceptance & Commitment Therapy. This is a mindfulness based therapy that helps folks leverage being present to defuse from negative thoughts, images and feelings.  What I was particularly drawn to was the philosophy of this model which acknowledges that we cannot control our thoughts and feelings and that our brains have evolved to sense and avoid danger.  This is why we worry.  Russ Harris who shares the ideas of Steven Hayes (one of the ACT founders) in one of my favorite books The Happiness Trap:  How to Stop Struggling and Start Living points out that there are 4 myths of happiness…so enjoy!

1. Happiness is the natural state for all human beings.  Research actually demonstrates the opposite.  Unfortunately, one in ten adults will attempt suicide and one in five will suffer from depression.  Most of us are thinking that everyone around us is waking up happy each day, but that is not the case….you are not alone.

2. If you’re not happy, you’re defective.  This one hits home for me.  I have spent half my life trying to alter my life to be happy, read a million self-help books, exercised, partied, went to places I enjoy – all to still wake up cranky the next morning.  In our culture we avoid suffering and deem it problematic and abnormal.  It is judged.  It is not accepted and yet it is INEVITABLE.  And I happen to believe that from our suffering we grow, we become more connected to ourselves and to what matters most.  If you are unhappy, worried, stressed, anxious, and ready to defend yourself…your mind is doing exactly what it has evolved to do, you are not defective.

3. To create a better life, we must get rid of negative thinking.  Life is all about balance.  I invite feelings of happiness, contentment, excitement, and joy into my life and yours.  And I do experience all of these almost everyday, usually later in the day.  However, to create the life you want, you must prepare for challenging thoughts and feelings.  Take relationships for example…at times you will feel connected, loved, and happy.  At other points you may feel scared, unhappy, and frustrated.  That is OK and completely normal, we just don’t speak about it as often as we showcase our high points in life.

4. You should be able to control what you think and feel.  By trying to get rid of negative thinking you are only going to feel like a failure when you realize that you cannot control your thoughts or feelings, which then perpetuates the negative feelings.  You may ask yourself, “Why can’t I just get over it and be happy?”  Then  you shame yourself for not being able to do so.  How many of you have tried to get that memory, image, or negative thought out of your mind and have been successful at it??  You might be able to distract yourself temporarily to get rid of it, yet it most likely comes back.  And who has time to constantly remain distracted?  When we are avoiding painful thoughts and feeling with things like avoidance and distraction, we are also blocking the positive thoughts and feelings, pulling us away from living a rich and meaningful life.

Rather than trying to control our thoughts and emotions, I would suggest inviting them in, making space for them, creating peace with them – you just may find that they are not as powerful as we have perceived them to be.  What we can control is our actions and how we respond to both positive and negative emotions.  Take a breath, observe your thoughts and know what you’re brain is just doing what it evolved to do…nothing is wrong with you…suffering is part of life.

I want to hear from you!  Have you tried to control your thoughts and feelings?  What was that like?  Have you fallen prey to the happiness myths and in what ways?

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

New Year’s Resolutions (Minus the Pressure & Guilt)

As 2015 comes to a close and we prepare for great things in 2016, it is important to make time for reflection and to establish goals in a mindful way.  I have developed a New Year’s Day ritual that includes a good work out followed by a good sweaty meditation in the steam room.  I start the year off by doing something loving to and for myself.  Read on for tips on how set goals for the New Year without pressure, guilt or shame:

1.  It’s all about reflection – careful reflection that is.  Looking back on 2015, what were your highlights?  Ask yourself what you were able to do in regards to your personal growth, what you did for fun, in relationships, for you health?  When did you feel connected, happy, and content?  Write out the feelings, thoughts, and experiences that surrounded those highlights and look for themes.  Odds are….these are themes you can celebrate and will want to maintain for next year.  On the flip side, what challenged you or pulled you from your values?  What goals did you set last year that you did not accomplish.  IMPORTANT!!!!  Do not feel guilt or shame for not accomplishing them…just be gently curious about why.  Perhaps it wasn’t that important after all, which is helpful information to your self, so no time lost.  Perhaps it challenged you due to fear which now that you are aware of that, you can tackle it head on.  Again…sounds perfectly productive to me.  The point here is to gain self-knowledge so the new goals can be more fitting, meaningful and achievable.

2.  Do a quick scan on how connected you are to your values.  When was the last time you gave yourself the time and space to determine what your core values are?  And how are you living those core values in your daily life?  For example, if health is a core value but you are struggling to maintain emotional and physical health due to your busy schedule, it’s time to get real and make room in your schedule and pocketbook for that therapy session, massage, physical, dentist appointment, hike or dance class.  A tool that I have found extremely helpful for myself as well as my clients is the value sort…go ahead and Google it.

3.  After reflecting on last year, and reconnecting to your values, I encourage you to take a look at the total picture when setting goals. There are many facets to wellness and we are usually more drawn to some over others, and usually for good reason.  But examine all the buckets:  Health/ Relationships/ Connection/ Pleasure/ Work/ Purpose/ Community.  This is not to set 652 goals – again we are trying to avoid feeling bad about what we do not accomplish.  It’s more about taking a balanced approach to your goals.  If all your goals are work oriented, you are placing a great deal of pressure on yourself, and some that is out of your control…that is a TRAP!  If your only goal is to lose weight, again…I sense you may be in the same spot next year, only feeling worse.  How we set goals is also important leading to the next tip…

4.  Set diverse and manageable goals.  Break down the larger goal into achievable parts.  Only bite off one or two at a time not all seven or eight.  Based on what you came up with for all the parts of wellness, prioritize the top two and break them down into weekly, monthly, and quarterly goals.  Remember it takes at least 16 weeks for actions to become habits, and when we bite off more than we can chew, we tend to make it a month or two and then give up.  Diversity keeps things fun and different.

5.  Share your goals with others and celebrate with them when you make even the slightest movement in the direction you are wanting to go.  I have found that people leave this piece out.  Having goals can be so lonely at times.  We are hesitant to share goals for fear of embarrassment if we fail or judgement.  This also allows us to throw in the towel sooner because hey…no one knew I was working on this anyway!  Share!!!  Be vulnerable and see the support that comes to you.  Don’t you cheer on your clan??  They’ll most likely do the same for you.  And when you approach the haters…well…we all know what to do about them.  We know they are just going through their own stuff.

6.  Don’t think in absolutes.  Black and white goal planning and follow up is DANGEROUS.  We do not live in an all or nothing world so why is it we expect all or nothing when we are trying to achieve our goals?  If you decided to order a pizza and drink a couple glasses of wine instead of working out and doing homework – who cares?  It’s what you needed in the moment – trust your intuition and most important – DO NOT SHAME yourself for it.  At least enjoy it mindfully, you owe at least that to the pizza.

7.  Now and each moment, day, week, month, and year going forward – do your best to remain PRESENT.  If you spend your life planning and wishing, you are missing out on the rich opportunities that are emerging in each moment.  If you can’t enjoy the now, how can you be certain you’ll enjoy yourself more when you achieve something?  The truth is, you are amazing just as you are right now, without changing or making any resolutions.  This leads me to what I hope is your only resolution:  TO LOVE & ACCEPT MYSELF!

My next post and many more to come will provide information on how to do just that so stay tuned.  In the meantime I would love to hear from you!  How do you reflect and set mindful goals?  Do you feel guilt over not achieving?  What works?  What does not?

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

The 4 Myths of Happiness (Copy)

Hello! (In my best Adele voice) Thank you for visiting my blog and reading my VERY first blog post. I am beyond thrilled to share my journey and learning’s with each and every one of you. I had no idea how important connecting to my purpose was until recently when graduation and opening my private counseling and coaching practice came to fruition. Many twists and turns in my life led me to this point…the point of living my purpose of healing and helping others. There is something spiritually meaningful about knowing deep in your soul you are on the right path and feeling that what you are doing is significant. But how did I get here??? It certainly wasn’t a clear and easy road.

Growing up, I tended to be a caretaker.  Being the first born of three children, I had the opportunity and duty to help take care of my siblings.  When my sister was born with a brain tumor, our lives were turned upside down.  I realized at the tender age of eight years old just how precious life was, and also how fortunate I was to have my health.  Witnessing my younger sister’s strength (along with my families’) to overcome major health obstacles, I became inspired by how happy this little girl could be while suffering and fighting for her life.

On the darker side, and yes I believe there is almost always a darker side to things, I developed an intense pressure within myself to not be a problem adding to the family distress. This self-discipline (it was not expected of me, I solely created it) evolved into a perfectionist, people pleasing personality which led to many more problems down the road. I did well in school, impressed people socially, and was active in extracurricular activities. That was until middle school – when my organic development (searching for my identity) collided with my anger turned inward – where things started going downhill. As my heath began to deteriorate with an eating disorder, my sister’s health was much better and she was stable. Life is all about balance, isn’t it?

As I began to recover and was back on track in high school, my brother was facing serious struggles. Thinking back, my parents really never got a break. It’s not my place to share his story in detail but let’s just say he is a warrior in his own right and we all learned just how important mental health is.

In college, I became pregnant with my son. What a blessing and surprise that was. I would have been on the ten year plan and was having a little TOO much fun. Cleaning up my act, I wanted to graduate on time, and have a steady job lined up beforehand. That is how I ended up being a leader at Target. They had a paid internship and in that experience I saw a reliable career that could support my son and I (his father and I parted ways when I was pregnant and have co-parented ever since.)

Ten years climbing the corporate ladder flew by in a blink of an eye, and my son was growing up way too fast. I met my husband at Target and life was looking up. Everyone’s health was intact (for the most part) and life was unfolding as it was supposed to. My career however took a toll on me. The people pleaser in me did not know how to say “No” and was trying to prove my worth through work accomplishments. When paired with the skeletons and demons whom I had locked in my closet, the scenario led to a severe case of burn out, among other things.

Many of you probably know about and have been affected by the horrendous Aurora theater shootings which occurred across the street from the Target store I managed. Many of our team members were in the theater that night and, devastatingly, we lost one of us that night. Witnessing the grief, confusion, fear, anger, strength and resilience of the community reconnected me to my personal values and desire to help others in a different way than being a leader for a retail organization.
My heart was broken but my natural response during this crisis was to tend to my team’s wounds and in those dark moments my purpose emerged like the sun rising.

I knew I wanted more out of my life and that many things needed to change. I needed to define my worth in ways that were authentic to me, not based on my work performance. I needed to get into therapy and tend to my own lifelong wounds. I needed to be a better example to my son regarding taking care of myself and the world deserved my gifts that were being hidden by my insecurity.
Bravely, I decided to make the move. Leaving Target, because of the people I so dearly loved, was one of the toughest decisions I have ever made. I was known by many and made a good living. BUT my work didn’t have the type of meaning I so desired and longed for. I needed to create balance in my life and starting over felt like the best (and scariest) way how.

I applied for graduate school to get my Masters in Counseling at Regis University and 2.5 years later here we are. What a journey academically and self-reflectively it has been. I am forever transformed and so absolutely clear with who I am (although I will always be a work in progress), what gems I offer the universe and what my purpose is.

Now I get to pay it forward. I get to guide others in finding their authenticity and shining organically in the world. I have the privilege of being with human beings as they work through the deepest parts of themselves while digging to find their gold. I get to reconnect people to their individual values and help them live in a more present and meaningful way.
You will find that many of my blog posts will be true to my story, vulnerable and real, while also providing some information and tips on how to become the best you.

I would love to hear from you! What’s your story? And how has it connected you to your purpose? What wellness tips are you most interested in? Please do always share your thoughts, feelings, and feedback with me.

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean