Annual Reflections for an Epic New Year: 4 Questions to Ask Yourself
Annual Reflections for an Epic New Year: 4 Questions to ask Yourself.
How to leverage annual reflections to make next year even better that this one.
Today we're talking about the four questions to ask yourself to recap your year to therefore create an epic year following.
In the month of December, I spend a lot of time both myself and with my clients reflecting on how we spent our time, energy and money throughout the year so we can take that information and formulate a plan to have an even better 2017.
So the first question that I like to ask is one that you all have heard of which is what are you most proud of and what made you feel really good yourself in 2016? You might be asking “Are you talking personally or professionally?” and my question back to you is how are they different? If personally you're really proud of using courage to come out of your shell and try new things, how does that not impact both your personal and professional lives simultaneously? If your goal/ intention was to strengthen your communication and your intimacy with your partner, how does that not help you overall feel better which would flow into the workplace?
The second question is in what way did you stretch yourself? You all have heard the saying “If we’re not growing we’re dying” or “If we’re not uncomfortable we’re not trying hard enough” so in what ways did you really push yourself out of your comfort zone? And most importantly, how did you overcome the obstacles attempting to block you from trying that thing? Maybe it was fear or self-doubt or an old tape that you play about how you show up in those situations, but how did you overcome that to go ahead and try it anyways? Those are going to be sources of strength that we want to use to make great things happen moving forward. Perhaps you did a public speaking engagement and you overcame your fear of being in front of a group and how you did that was to talk to your coach, to meditate on it, to practice and prepare, or to just know and trust that you can do it when you get there. Make a note of how you did it! Then, how did it feel to show up and make it happen?
The third question is about what you learned… what was the biggest mistake you made and what did you learn from it? All of the greats in the world will tell you they made more mistakes than they can count before they found their way. But what makes them great is their resiliency and how they came back from those mistakes. They focus on what they learned and how to apply that information going forward. I challenge you to be really honest with yourself, where did you mess up and what can you learn about yourself to become a more authentic version of you?
Please know we all make mistakes!!!! I hope that you’re not sitting in shame or judgment. The first thing I encourage you to do is to release the shame and judgment around making mistakes and the second thing to do is normalize that we all make mistakes and remind yourself that that to be great you MUST make mistakes. The third thing you can do is learn, try something different and use mindfulness to make conscious choices the next time.
The fourth and final question is my favorite…what are you willing to shed from this year to become next year? I use the snake metaphor a lot with my clients but what are you willing to de-clutter in your mind, what are you willing to let go of and release that’s no longer serving you? Perhaps it’s an old tape such as that “I’m not good enough” story. That is definitely a tough one to shed but so worth the work. Maybe it’s a habit or a pattern that you’ve identified that’s no longer serving you well and not helping you get what you want. Maybe it’s a mistake you made and you don’t want to hold onto the guilt and shame of it, you’re ready to release it and let it go!
Here’s the deal guys… if we want to become what it is that we’re trying to become we have to let go of some of these things that we tend to carry with us, and a lot of those things are pretty heavy such as guilt, shame and regret. All of those unpleasant thoughts and feelings don’t really serve us, rather, they weigh us down. Starting today, give yourself permission to let it go. There’s a lot of different ways that you can let it go, you can journal, you can write it down and burn it, you can release it through body movement, or you can work with a counselor or coach, just to name a few.
The point is, if you want to become the very best version of you and you want to create an amazing life, you’re gonna have to let some things go!
These are the four questions that I love to work with clients on when doing their annual reflections to begin to make plans and to clear space for what you are going to create next.
Now, if you need to work with a counselor or a coach to really heal from some of the things that happened this year, or to process some of the things that happened, there’s no judgment in that, and I strongly encourage you to get the resources that you need.
And if you need a partner to help you create the life you’ve always wanted or to manifest your dreams give me a call and book a free discovery call to see what we can work through together.
We only live once and we want to live life to the fullest, so get rid of what’s no longer serving you and believe that you can have all that you want.
I hope you found these four questions helpful and I hope you have an amazing year ahead.
Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,
XO brooke jean
New Year’s Resolutions (Minus the Pressure & Guilt)
Read on for tips on how set goals for the New Year without pressure, guilt or shame:
As 2015 comes to a close and we prepare for great things in 2016, it is important to make time for reflection and to establish goals in a mindful way. I have developed a New Year’s Day ritual that includes a good work out followed by a good sweaty meditation in the steam room. I start the year off by doing something loving to and for myself. Read on for tips on how set goals for the New Year without pressure, guilt or shame:
1. It’s all about reflection – careful reflection that is. Looking back on 2015, what were your highlights? Ask yourself what you were able to do in regards to your personal growth, what you did for fun, in relationships, for you health? When did you feel connected, happy, and content? Write out the feelings, thoughts, and experiences that surrounded those highlights and look for themes. Odds are….these are themes you can celebrate and will want to maintain for next year. On the flip side, what challenged you or pulled you from your values? What goals did you set last year that you did not accomplish. IMPORTANT!!!! Do not feel guilt or shame for not accomplishing them…just be gently curious about why. Perhaps it wasn’t that important after all, which is helpful information to your self, so no time lost. Perhaps it challenged you due to fear which now that you are aware of that, you can tackle it head on. Again…sounds perfectly productive to me. The point here is to gain self-knowledge so the new goals can be more fitting, meaningful and achievable.
2. Do a quick scan on how connected you are to your values. When was the last time you gave yourself the time and space to determine what your core values are? And how are you living those core values in your daily life? For example, if health is a core value but you are struggling to maintain emotional and physical health due to your busy schedule, it’s time to get real and make room in your schedule and pocketbook for that therapy session, massage, physical, dentist appointment, hike or dance class. A tool that I have found extremely helpful for myself as well as my clients is the value sort…go ahead and Google it.
3. After reflecting on last year, and reconnecting to your values, I encourage you to take a look at the total picture when setting goals. There are many facets to wellness and we are usually more drawn to some over others, and usually for good reason. But examine all the buckets: Health/ Relationships/ Connection/ Pleasure/ Work/ Purpose/ Community. This is not to set 652 goals – again we are trying to avoid feeling bad about what we do not accomplish. It’s more about taking a balanced approach to your goals. If all your goals are work oriented, you are placing a great deal of pressure on yourself, and some that is out of your control…that is a TRAP! If your only goal is to lose weight, again…I sense you may be in the same spot next year, only feeling worse. How we set goals is also important leading to the next tip…
4. Set diverse and manageable goals. Break down the larger goal into achievable parts. Only bite off one or two at a time not all seven or eight. Based on what you came up with for all the parts of wellness, prioritize the top two and break them down into weekly, monthly, and quarterly goals. Remember it takes at least 16 weeks for actions to become habits, and when we bite off more than we can chew, we tend to make it a month or two and then give up. Diversity keeps things fun and different.
5. Share your goals with others and celebrate with them when you make even the slightest movement in the direction you are wanting to go. I have found that people leave this piece out. Having goals can be so lonely at times. We are hesitant to share goals for fear of embarrassment if we fail or judgement. This also allows us to throw in the towel sooner because hey…no one knew I was working on this anyway! Share!!! Be vulnerable and see the support that comes to you. Don’t you cheer on your clan?? They’ll most likely do the same for you. And when you approach the haters…well…we all know what to do about them. We know they are just going through their own stuff.
6. Don’t think in absolutes. Black and white goal planning and follow up is DANGEROUS. We do not live in an all or nothing world so why is it we expect all or nothing when we are trying to achieve our goals? If you decided to order a pizza and drink a couple glasses of wine instead of working out and doing homework – who cares? It’s what you needed in the moment – trust your intuition and most important – DO NOT SHAME yourself for it. At least enjoy it mindfully, you owe at least that to the pizza.
7. Now and each moment, day, week, month, and year going forward – do your best to remain PRESENT. If you spend your life planning and wishing, you are missing out on the rich opportunities that are emerging in each moment. If you can’t enjoy the now, how can you be certain you’ll enjoy yourself more when you achieve something? The truth is, you are amazing just as you are right now, without changing or making any resolutions. This leads me to what I hope is your only resolution: TO LOVE & ACCEPT MYSELF!
My next post and many more to come will provide information on how to do just that so stay tuned. In the meantime I would love to hear from you! How do you reflect and set mindful goals? Do you feel guilt over not achieving? What works? What does not?