Being In Transition: Part II – Becoming
Being in Transition.
Welcome to Being in Transition – Part II – BECOMING…..which just so happens to be my favorite part of the transition process.
My last blog, Being in Transition – Part I was all about the grieving process. Its important to process the feelings we have about what was and what we are leaving behind so we can make space for what’s next in our lives.
If you just lost your job, lost your relationship, became a mother, or entered into mid-life, (among many other love, life and career transitions) listen up, these blogs are for YOU!
Transition can be tough, no doubt. Who we thought we were, how we believed we operated, our values, our perceptions, everything comes into question with the movement around transition. However, as scary as this can be, this is also an opportunity to get clear on WHO we want to become, and HOW we want to be going forward.
I mentioned how difficult it can be to find yourself swimming in the grey area of transition. You might find yourself no longer in that marriage, but wondering if you’ll ever be in a relationship again. Or you might be anxious about what is next in your career, or how you will be adjusting as a new mom. Not knowing tends to bring up many emotions, and typically a great deal of worry.
If you can, give yourself permission to not know, to not try to plan, predict and control, and to trust in yourself and in the universe that all will be OK.
Ask yourself, “What is the opportunity here?”
This part of the process is all about BECOMING.
We are under absolutely no obligation to be the person we were five minutes ago, let alone last week, last year, in our past job or relationships.
So use this time to reflect.
Reflect on who you have been.
Get to know yourself better. What do you enjoy doing? Get out and try new things. Remember what you loved to do as a child and try to reconnect in some way.
I encourage you to create more quiet time in your life. Whether it be through meditation, hiking in the mountains, sitting at the pool, its in these quiet times that we gain clarity and can tap into our creativity to find solutions, next moves, and our life’s vision.
Read books, listen to podcasts, follow people you admire on social media.
Get clear on WHO you want to be.
Get out a sheet a paper. On one side write out what you like about yourself, who you are, your strengths, your values, what makes you proud. Then, on the other side write out the things you do not like about yourself. With the “do not like” list, ask yourself how have these things been helping you? For example, perhaps one thing you do not like about yourself is your short temper. Well, how has having a short temper helped you? I know, on the surface level, it appears its NOT been helpful.
But I challenge you to dig much deeper.
We do things, sometimes subconsciously for good reasons. Perhaps you’re short tempered to protect yourself, to appear stronger than you are, to get your needs met. There might be unresolved anger from previous life experiences that are calling your attention to clear out so it no longer holds you back.
The goal is to change our relationship with the things we don’t like about ourselves so we can then address them accordingly. When we understand why we do what we do, we can then develop self-acceptance and self-compassion which is a much stronger foundation to create real sustainable change from. Having this self-awareness is the first step to change, to progress, to become.
Then, look at your list again, and decide what you want to keep as part of who you are now and going forward, what you want to discard, and what you want to tweak.
Working with a counselor or coach can help you make those changes!
Dream Big….my coach always says, “If your life vision doesn’t seem totally impossible right now, its not big enough.”
Ask yourself in the quiet moments what you want out of life? What values do you hold most dear to you? What legacy do you want to leave behind, what do you want to be known for?
Transition is the perfect time to course correct. To get clear and to change gears. To be empowered to take ownership of your life and go out and get the best there is to offer. It all starts with reflections, dreaming and believing.
There are many additional exercises and conversations I have with clients to support them in the process of becoming. From there, they take intentional and mindful action which creates new and meaningful outcomes in their lives.
So, being in transition, we heal, become and then adjust (which will be the final part of this blog series!)
SO…WHO ARE YOU BECOMING?
If you or someone you know is in a love, life or career transition, please send them my way! This is the life work I am PRIVILEGED to guide folks through.
