Put Your Well-being First: Don’t Get Sucked Back Into the Soul- Sucking Self- Sacrificing Vortex

hey loves!  happy summer.  happy june!

Happy less freaking masks.  With life re-energizing and things opening back up, I am witnessing people, especially people-pleasing perfectionistic type working women and mamas (aka ME!), being lured back into the old way of things pre-COVID-19.  The glamorization of busyness, grit, discipline, and self-sacrifice is completely and undoubtedly suffocating and quite frankly, needs to die. 

I felt that the Pandemic helped us collectively realize what the hell actually matters most.  In the last year, we started prioritizing health, wellbeing and our families over everything else.  We began taking breaks at work, taking walks over lunch, and clocking out early for that at-home yoga class.  We learned to be flexible and that shit can get done in an untraditional way, such as when it works best for us. 

We acknowledged the mental and emotional wellbeing of ourselves and those we care about. We took bold action and made big moves such as literally physically moving where our soul has been longing to go, left marriages that weren’t working anymore, left jobs and started new businesses that were more in alignment with who we really are and our higher callings.

And yet, here we are, so soon being pulled back into the old paradigm, the outdated way of being.  I can feel the pull myself and am also witnessing my bad ass working mama clients fill every minute back up on their calendars with shit that no longer fires them up.  Those gaps in their schedules are now being intercepted with appointments, meetings, and to-dos based on other people’s expectations, kicking out the walk, the meditation, the nap, the emotional check in, the connection with loved ones.

We are all of a sudden feeling guilty for doing our self-care and working less than 8-10 hours when in all honesty, our 6 hour work day is more productive than some other’s 10 hour work day.  We are feeling like we owe someone something. 

We did our part, taking one for the team during the Pandemic.  Sacrificing our work and our sanity to remote teach our kids and adjust to all the changes thrown at us.  We’ve BEEN taking one for the team since the beginning of time.  We deserve spaciousness, grace, and appreciation for all we’ve done.  We deserve flexibility at work so we can do all the things we do.  And we NEED to put our wellbeing first so we can carry on.  

The Pandemic became a pressure cooker for change, dismantling the paradigm that told us that we need to work hard until we die.  This is clearing space for the new paradigm to emerge and come forward as the new way of being.  One where we value the feminine by beginning to acknowledge the inherent gems women have, unique strengths buried under societies BS expectations such as intuition, sensing, creating, collaborating, reading a room, etc.

When we push to produce, perform, achieve, and perfect day after day irregardless of our cycles or what else is going on in our worlds we are more vulnerable to burn out and experience serious mental health concerns.  I am NOT here for it anymore.  Too many amazing women are suffering in silence with depression, anxiety, binge eating and drinking and all sorts of other ways of coping that are holding us back from feeling our best and therefore living a life we whole-heartedly desire.

So, my love, please please please do not fall into that old trap.  Do not be manipulated into believing that busyness is a good look or that you need to do or be more than you already are.  

May we turn our attention inward, regulate our nervous systems and fill our tanks.  May we breathe deep, dance hard, and laugh often.  Shed the shoulds.  Protect your precious resources like energy, time and intention fiercely.  Say No.  Ask for help.  Take breaks.  Move your body.  Breathe.  And for fuck’s sakes, rest and re-charge because this is just the beginning of the new way of being.  We have some work ahead in creating the new paradigm for how we work, how we define success and how we shine bright in the world.  NO biggie.  We gots this.

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

3 Tips for Living in Extreme Uncertainty

It is November 2020, just two days into the election, and just when I thought we as Americans just could not take on any more uncertainty, we are waiting to hear who will be elected president. Having been on already shaky ground since March of this year due to COVID-19, adding a whole new level of uncertainty to the mix has many of us electric with anxiety. Or frozen in stuckness. Or wanting to run far, far away.

I am beginning to wonder if one of the larger assignments of getting through this really tough transition is learning to live with uncertainty.

The brain has evolved to protect us, and in doing so it needs to be able to predict future outcomes. It requires information so it can make a plan to keep us safe. It has us comparing ourselves to ensure we measure up and can survive socially. These functions of the brain are survival-based and have been evolving since the beginning of time when our environment was very much eat or be eaten. 

Not having information to be able to predict future outcomes and plan for safety has our brains and nervous systems going haywire and this experience can be wildly uncomfortable. Anytime we are going through a big life change, personally and collectively we enter into the “unknown” periods that leave us restless, unsure, and lost.

here are 3 tips to live with uncertainty

1.

Don’t forget to breathe. And really breathe.

The most nourishing thing we can do for our systems is to take a deep inhale and exhale. Seriously, a belly breathe will do more for you than a green juice. When we are in a place of uncertainty we tend to shorten our breath. I invite you right now to pause in this moment and just notice your breath. What is the quality, length, and what parts of your body are expanding and contracting? Now try putting one hand on your heart and the other on your belly and inhale to the count of 4 until you feel the hand on your belly rise, hold for 4 and exhale for 6. Do this for 3 minutes and notice how you feel after. Breathwork is not only nourishing for you on a cellar level, getting oxygen to your brain, it is also giving your brain and nervous system a signal that you are safe, releasing hormones that help you actually calm down and feel safe. We underestimate the healing power of our breath and connecting to it more mindfully each day will support us in being in uncertainty and listening to our own inner guidance.

2.

Movement. Move your friggen’ body.

Several times a day. Our feelings are held in our bodies, therefore the fear, anxiety, worry, grief, all of it is stored in your body and so we need to shake and move off the energy. This can look different for each person. For some, a deep stretch feels like a good enough release. Dance is beautiful for this purpose. Walking, earthing, hiking, cycling, swimming, twerking, it does not matter. This is not about exercise. This is about releasing stuff that is stuck in the body. When I feel stuck or that I am spiraling in anxiety I just start dancing or shaking or jumping up and down. It shifts my focus, brings a smile to my face, and shifts my energy. I also recommend doing this to get through an urge to cope in an unhealthy way.

3.

Daily Dose of JOY!

One of the hardest parts of living through these times is the feeling that there is nothing to look forward to. With COVID cases on the rise, holiday planning, vacations, and get-togethers are all on hold, yet again. Not having something to look forward to takes its toll on mental and emotional wellbeing- so I think it is so important to schedule in a daily dose of joy to your day, every day. Add in a bath with your new bath bomb, calling a friend, watching a show that makes you laugh, a short meditation, coffee on the patio, a good stretch outside facing the sun. It doesn’t need to be grandiose, it needs to be accessible and not serve a purpose other than to bring you joy. So what are the small things that bring you joy? Get out your phone/ planner and schedule one small daily dose of joy and have that to look forward to each day.

We need all the tools we can gather right now to remain grounded and healthy during these times of uncertainty. We need a break for our danger centers in the brain and our nervous systems. We need to process and access deep feelings and move them through our body and lastly, we need moments of pause to listen to ourselves and each other and be able to move forward in a conscious way.

Don’t let fear call the shots of your day, your life, and your outcomes. Fear has a purpose, to keep you safe, and it’s only a PART of you, it’s not the CEO of your life. YOU are. So, give yourself permission to sit in the yuck of not knowing, trusting that you will find your way somehow.

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

The Pandemic is a Pressure Cooker for Change

Sometimes we can get so blocked and feeling stuck that we are unable to see what needs to change or where we need to pivot. The pandemic and our current political and social environment has created this pressure cooker for change.

Now, because we are in this collective shift and this pressure for change, we are not seeing clearly where it is that we need to make changes to take advantage of this opportunity and rise into who we are becoming.

Follow along with Brooke Jean as she shares how you can clear out this noise and receive the necessary information to grow, learn, and pivot.

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

Identifying Feelings For The Woman Who Struggles To Feel

Are you a high-achieving, highly anxious, perfectionistic woman who is currently feeling lost, overwhelmed, like a failure at everything, triggered often, and in a constant state of stress?

Are you feeling like you can no longer function the way you have been all these years?  Feeling that you can no longer manage it all with a smile on your face while hiding the psychological torture you’re in?  That you are buckling from your own internal pressure and want to check out completely?  And has this phenomenon led you to cope in ways that are not healthy or in alignment with your higher self?  

If so, then you are just like me and we are having a normal human response to living through a collective trauma and crisis.

I see you babe.  I really really see you.  

Because I am you.

Right now, with the global pandemic, racial justice movement and relentless changes such as all of sudden teaching our kids, taking our businesses online, being with our partners all the time and wearing masks to all. the. things, it feels like we are in a pressure cooker with no way out.  

No way to release the steam and pressure to find relief.  

When in this position, our stuff is emerging and rising to the surface.  Our stuff meaning our stuffed feelings, parts of ourselves that are no longer serving us, patterns that prevent us from realizing our potential and feeling our best, and beliefs that hold us hostage from really living and being our authentic bad-ass-selves.

Those feelings that have been ignored and the ways in which you have kept them at bay; whether it be drinking, spending, cheating, raging, over producing, conflict in relationships, feeling bored with your career, or hating on yourself internally, are all ready to be honored and worked through.

Because when you do, sister, you rid yourself of all the junk weighing you down and holding you back.

This is an invitation to begin to tend to your feelings, your body holding those feelings and to begin to heal so you can navigate this collective transition we are in and perhaps even come out stronger and healthier than before.

One of my favorite ways to acknowledge and explore feelings is to set up a journal practice.

Journaling allows information that can often be outside of our awareness to come forward. 

Before you begin your journal practice, I strongly encourage you to set up an uninterrupted sacred space that feels safe and relaxing.  Take 10 deep belly breathes and enter into the space of self- compassion and reflection.  You may even light a candle and put on some of your favorite music.

Here are some journal prompts to get you started. Don’t overthink these questions, let your gut be your guide:

How am I feeling about everything that is going on right now?

Where am I holding those feelings in my body? (close your eyes and scan your body – no judgment or shaming what is coming up!)

Am I making time to feel and what does that look like

What are the thoughts and beliefs I have about my feelings that are showing up?

What behaviors am I engaging in to avoid feeling?

Let the information flow and do your best to meet it with curiosity and kindness.  This is all just information,  there is no right or wrong and it is absolutely okay for you to be exactly where you are right now.

Just by doing this, tending to your feelings, and writing them out you are: 

• Showing up for yourself in meaningful and healing ways

• Strengthening the mind-body connection so you can further identify and name feelings

• Have moved the feelings, making a shift happen in your body

Now, MOVE YOUR BODY in any way that feels good to complete the process.

This could look like standing up and shaking, dancing, stretching, or going for a walk.  Move the feelings through you and notice how you feel after.

Make this a practice you commit to as often as you can and notice shifts after a day, a week, and a month.

Now more than ever we need to tend to our emotional health and wellbeing and this practice can get you well on your way of doing just that.

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

Leaders: See the Light in YOU and your TEAM!

One piece of what Brooke Jean does is coaching and consulting workshops for organizational leaders and their teams. Learn more about her approach and why she believes that success is an inside job.

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Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

Perfectionists! 5 Quick Therapeutic Tips to QUIET your Inner B! (Critic)

There is just SO much we are all dealing with lately, and for perfectionists it can be too much. This can create angst, worry and anxiety- leading to our inner critics getting LOUDER.

So, perfectionists, how do you silence your inner critic? Learn 5 Quick Therapeutic Tips to QUIET Your Inner B with Brooke Jean of Brooke Jean Counseling and Coaching.

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Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

Pause, Become Aware, Deep Sea Dive! Exploring Anxiety.

How do you do the deep-sea-diving to understand and gain awareness about your anxiety and triggering events? Where do you even start?

Brooke shares several signs as to how your anxiety might be manifesting, what is happening when you are feeling triggered, and what you can do with this information for your own healing and growth. Follow along and learn more from Brooke Jean with Brooke Jean Counseling and Coaching.

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Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

A Deeper Look at Anxiety and Brainspotting

Have you been feeling triggered lately? We are currently living in a pressure cooker for anxiety and it can be hard to process all.the.things. What is emerging for you and revealing itself? Now is the time to heal. Learn more and explore anxiety and the healing brainspotting modality with Brooke Jean of Brooke Jean Counseling and Coaching.

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Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

Strengthening Your Roots through Meditation

Join Brooke as she shares thoughts and ideas about what meditation has done for her and what meditation can do for you. Tune into your vibrations and consciously raise your awareness through meditation. Listen for more with Brooke Jean Counseling and Coaching.

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Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

Settling Into Our New Normal

How are you settling into what is our 'new normal' and what is the larger spiritual assignment during this time? Listen as Brooke Jean shares her thoughts and insights on navigating our new realities.

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Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

Mindfulness During Uncertain Times

Brooke Jean explores ways to use Mindfulness as a tool during times of uncertainty. How do you create space for your feelings of fear and anxiety while also consciously noticing the good in every day? This practice is essential for keeping our minds well. Listen for more with Brooke Jean Counseling and Coaching

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Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

Mommy's Mental Health Matters, Series Expert: Terra LaRock

Join Brooke Jean with Brooke Jean Counseling and Coaching on her journey to exploring, sharing, and supporting all things for Mommy’s Mental Health!

In this monthly interview series, Brooke talks with other experts who are also passionate about and working to support mental health and the pressure on mothers. The first expert is Terra LaRock, CEO, and founder of The Mindful Mamas and creator of the Mindful Mama’s app.

Join Brooke and Terra as they discuss all things mindfulness, including working through anxiety, how to make a Holy shift!, and how to integrate mindfulness as a successful habit- all in this quick 30-minute series expert interview.

If you’re a mama looking for a little support and inspiration, join #BJCC’s Mommy’s Mental Health Matters group on Facebook.

Don’t forget to Subscribe on YouTube!

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

Reflect and Rise for 2020

Let's talk about New Year's resolutions and why they aren't all that great. Brooke Jean with Brooke Jean Counseling and Coaching wants to invite you to Reflect and Rise to make this coming year a magical one.

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Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

Belly Breathing

Are you struggling with BIG Feelings such as stress, rage, overwhelm, anxiety, or Mom Guilt?

Does it feel like no matter what you do, you are stuck in that big feeling even though you desperately want to get out?

The reason why feelings can be so intense is because we are having a body reaction. Our nervous systems are firing away.

In this video, you will learn how to leverage Belly Breathing to calm down.

Here is why it works:

The Vagus nerve is one of the largest nerves in our systems linking our brains to our bodies.

When we engage in deep belly breathing, we tickle the bottom of the Vagus nerve, which then sends a message to our brains that we are safe and all is okay. Then, our brains release hormones that help us calm down, and when we calm our rational brain comes back online and we can take more conscious action.

Watch the video and try belly breathing when you are in the heat of any BIG FEELING and let us know how it goes for you.

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Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

5 Signs You're Struggling with Mom Guilt

Are you a mama struggling with Mom Guilt?

If so, you are so not alone, sister.

I have yet to meet one single mama who hasn’t experienced some form of Mom Guilt.

In my most recent vlog, I share 5 signs you are struggling with Mom Guilt, and some tips on what you can do about it.

In a nutshell – our conditioning (messages we received growing up) about what at “good enough” Mom looks like have developed unconscious beliefs about what we “should” and “should not” be doing.

When we don’t follow the rules, we experience Mom Guilt.

BUT these old rules we are living by are not always true, relevant, or helpful.

We also struggle to notice how amazing we already are, thanks to our brain’s evolution.

AND we often have an area we do need to level up on to reduce Mom Guilt.

Check out the video to learn the signs…

To join my mailing list to be the FIRST to receive the launch of my course “Kick Mom Guilt to the CURB!” Get access here.

If you’re a mama looking for support, learn more about how I can help here!

Join my private FB group for connection and laughs here.

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Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

Why Self-Care is the MOST Important Strategy for Success Edit

Learn why this wildly successful working mama believes self-care is the most important strategy for success.

In my summit, Moms Living a Life they Love, I interviewed several brilliant, power-house business women who are also Moms on how they overcome barriers to have both, a successful career and flourishing family.

This Mom is a friend of mine who I have been inspired by in our community for several years. Holly Scott sets the bar for living the life she wanted and created. Somehow she makes being the VP of Wiesner Media, the Group Publisher of two very popular local magazines Mountain Living and Colorado Homes & Lifestyles, a very involved Mom of two boys and wife look not only fun but easyC

She has over 20 years of experience in the publishing and media industry. During her 15 years at Network Communications and WiesnerMedia, Inc., she elevated the company’s Home Design brands through increased sales revenues, product development, operations, mentorship, training, senior management, and marketing development.

In 2011, she authored “Sales University,” a weekly sales training program she developed and conducted for the company. In addition, she has hosted a Women’s Retreat to coach young women professionals about building confidence and creating work-life balance.

In my interview with her she shares:

• Self-Care is #1 in her life and how that helps her

• There really are NO EMERGENCIES

• Her art of balance and time management

• How to give yourself permission

Don’t forget to Subscribe on YouTube!

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

How to Advocate for Yourself on the Job to have Work/ Life Balance

How to advocate for yourself on the job to have work/ life balance- An Interview with Beth Feldman – Founder of the Role Mommy Blog and Co-Founder of Beyond PR Group.

In my summit, Moms Living a Life they Love, I interviewed several brilliant, power-house business women who are also Moms on how they overcome barriers to have both, a successful career and flourishing family.

This down-to-earth and brave working mama thought outside of the box and had the courage to ask for what she needed to have both family and a big career. Beth Feldman experienced great success working for CBS before launching her own entrepreneurial endeavors. Using the gifts she already had, she launched two successful companies/brands.

She is the co-founder of Beyond PR Group, a a full-service public relations consulting firm founded by leading experts in the parenting, consumer, lifestyle and entertainment PR industry. She is also the founder of RoleMommy, a parenting blog network, online community and events company dedicated to inspiring, entertaining empowering today’s busy parents to pursue their passion while raising a family.

As a nationally recognized parenting expert, Feldman is frequently interviewed by national and regional news media on career re-invention, social media, parenting tweens and work-life balance. She has appeared on broadcast news programs such as “Good Morning America,” “Nightline,” Better TV, ABC News Now, Fox News Channel, “Inside Edition,” WCBS-TV and CW-11 Morning News and has been quoted as an expert resource by national news sources such as Associated Press and The New York Times. Feldman is the co-author of Peeing in Peace: Tales & Tips for Type A Moms (Sourcebooks) and is the author and editor of the humor anthology See Mom Run – Sidesplitting Essays from the World’s Most Harried Moms (Plain White Press).

In my interview with her she shares:

• How essential is it to advocate for yourself to get what you want.

• Be daring, courageous, and creative!

• Use skills and connections YOU ALREADY HAVE.

• Tips on how to start blogging.

• Values – let them steer and guide you….

Go to Beth’s blog Role Mommy for some hilarious and helpful stuff!

Learn more about how my coaching program can help you advocate for yourself at work here!

Set up your FREE discovery call today to get busy making BIG THINGS happen in your life, while feeling your best!

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Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

How to Manage Stress being a Working Mama

Learn how to manage stress being a working mama and so much more in this incredibly resourceful interview with one of my favorite boss babes.

In my summit, Moms Living a Life they Love, I interviewed several brilliant, power-house business women who are also Moms on how they overcome barriers to have both, a successful career and flourishing family.

This firecracker Mom, Michal Chesal, was so much fun to interview and her go-getter energy is just contagious. Three children, a divorce, and a thriving business later, she shares exactly what it takes to have both a family and thriving business.

She is a mompreneur who co-founded the Florida-based juvenile products company Baby K’tan, LLC. Shortly after the birth of her son, Coby, born with Down syndrome, Michal found herself searching for a baby carrier that could provide the sensory nourishment he required for optimal development. Unsatisfied with the options available, Michal began designing and creating her own modified carrier. Officially launched in 2007, the brand has since become one of the strongest names in infant carriers. Today, Baby K’tan, LLC continues to increase their product line, designing innovative products that promote the natural bond between parent and baby.

The culmination of her unique experiences has afforded her opportunities to be recognized in publications such as HuffPost, S FL Biz Journal, CBS & Miami Herald.

In my interview with her she shares:

• How her bright idea was born out of her child’s necessity

• Leveraging these 4 words to be successful: motivation, perseverance, patience and humility

• Being a single working Mom, time management is critical

• How to manage stress…

• Set 3 small goals a day and making the moment important!

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Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

The Power of Positive Thinking in Achieving Goals

Be inspired by Eva’s vision to become an author and how she leveraged the power of positive thinking in achieving goals, and oh so much more!

In my summit, Moms Living a Life they Love, I interviewed several brilliant, power-house business women who are also Moms on how they overcome barriers to have both, a successful career and flourishing family.

Eva Pohler retired from a twenty-year position teaching writing and literature at a university in San Antonio, where she lives with her husband and three kids. Now a full-time writer, she’s the Amazon bestselling author of eighteen novels, including The Mystery Book Collection and three series for young adults: The Gatekeeper’s Saga, The Purgatorium Series, and The Vampires of Athens. Her books have been described as “thrilling” and “addictive.” A Kirkus reviewer said of The Gatekeeper’s Sons that it was “sure to thrill Hunger Games fans”.

In my interview with her she shares:

• Take your big long-term plan and break it down into manageable goals

• The power of positive thinking

• TAKE TIME OFF

• Work when you can and when you’re in your flow of genius

Don’t forget to Subscribe on YouTube!

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

Inspiration for Working Women who want to have kids or already have them

There is not much I am more passionate about than helping women know they don’t have to choose career or family, they truly can have both and in this interview we share inspiration for working women to want to have kids or already have them.

In my online interview series, “Moms Living a Life they LOVE”, I had the privilege of talking to successful, powerful, mompreneurs about how they have BOTH thriving businesses and loved families.

We address the taboo topics no one wants to talk about to normalize the challenges, pressures, expectations and realities we face as working mamas.

Hear from these FABULOUS ladies just how they do it, what lessons they have learned and be prepared to feel inspired.

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Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean