Ways to take Care of Yourself During the Holidays

Ways to take care of yourself during the holidays! Especially for those working mamas trying to make miracles happen every season.

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Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

How to be an Effective Leader: Have a People First Mentality

Are you in a leadership role, but are struggling to build a healthy team culture that ultimately delivers outstanding business results?

So many leaders focus on results first and in this video, I flip that way of thinking and share how having a people first mentality is much healthier and will just feel good.

People are your biggest assets, and let’s be real, can be your biggest obstacles so learning how best to show up for your people is worth every ounce of investment.

If you are ready to learn to be an effective leader, this video is for you!

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Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

Need Better Sleep Now? Consider these quick strategies

Are you ready to get better sleep now? So many of us are not getting adequate sleep each night, which has a detrimental effect on our overall well being.

Being a recovering insomniac, and a therapist, I can honestly say that I have tried just about everything to sleep better. It took many years to find what has worked for me and while its not a “one size fits all” approach, I wanted to share some of my findings.

In this vlog, I share quick and simple strategies for getting better sleep while also providing you some things to consider if poor sleep is something you are struggling with.

Getting to the root of what is causing sleep issues is something we can dig into in therapy, learn more about my counseling services here.

And, if you’re ready to work on some things, I am here for you!

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Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

Being In Transition: Part I- Grief

How to Deal with Change: 3 Steps.

Step 1:  GRIEF

Throughout our lifetimes, each of us will encounter many different love, life and career transitions. Whether it be transitioning from childhood into adolescence and adulthood, from college to career, from losing a job to getting a promotion, losing a parent to becoming one, or hitting the “mid-life crisis,” there are periods of time that rock our world to its core and potentially change the path that we are on as a human being.

Many people dread these periods of time, fear them, avoid them, run from them.

But I have a different perspective. Although absolutely challenging, these are points in time that are filled with opportunities. Opportunities to deal with past hurts we are carrying around that are subconsciously getting in our way of being our best selves. Opportunities to identify patterns in our life that are no longer serving us. Opportunities to change coarse and become who we are meant to be. These are the richest times of our lives, if we know how to maximize the opportunity.

Being in a few life transitions myself, and specializing in transition as a counselor and coach, I wanted to share my three step process in using this time wisely (and surviving the storm!)

I am getting ready to bring my daughter into the world. My family is growing after many years of being what we were (a family of 3, but also part of a larger blended family). My first born is starting high school this year which is another huge transition, and I have launched a business that is growing and constantly in transition. Using the three step process, I have not only become comfortable with being in transition, but truly believe I am making the most of it.

And I feel compelled to share this with you!

The three part process includes:

Grief
Becoming
Adjustment/ Reconnection

So…for this blog, I am going to share part one of being in transition which is GRIEVING.

Each transition brings LOSS and often this loss might trigger past losses.

Our culture has the tendency to encourage us to focus on the future, what’s next, to be excited and grateful for whats to come. Which can be helpful. BUT if we don’t take time to consciously grieve what was, these feelings can manifest themselves in other ways later on. Grieving allows us to tap into our feelings to therefore express them, to acknowledge what was, whether good or bad, and to do some deeper reflection ultimately increasing self-awareness. From this place we can remain more grounded and intentional as we move forward.

As you are entering or going through a transition, here are a few ways in which you can consciously grieve. You can ask yourself the following questions and sit with them in meditation, prayer, journal them, or share with someone you trust (such as a therapist!!)

What is the transition I am in? You might be noticing a theme here with all my offerings, everything starts with awareness, acknowledgement, and naming what is going on. This is a instrumental first step. You might say something like, “I am aware that I am entering a life transition where I am having another baby, therefore changing my family life.”

Identify the feelings coming up around the transition. For this, you may need to dedicate 10- 15 minutes to sit in silence to allow the feelings to emerge. We get really good at subconsciously repressing, even unintentionally. So give yourself time, space and permission to tap in. Do a body scan and notice and feelings you might be holding in your body. What are they? You might say, “I notice I am feeling a sadness around my first born not being my only child anymore, and some anxiety around how this transition is going to effect my marriage, and some loneliness in being pregnant.”

Reflect on how you got here. I am finding myself in a unique situation where I had my first born 14 years ago in college and am just now adding to my family. How I got here is a long story, but one that if I fully honor it, I can pull out pearls of strength I have leveraged over the years and also things about myself that need further attention that led me down paths that weren’t in my best interest. Look at your story through a compassionate lens. Recognize the good and take accountability for what you would change.

Use coping skills to sit in the unknown. One of the most challenging parts of being in transition is that we can’t plan and predict everything that is going to happen next, which our brains do not appreciate. I have no real idea how my family life is going to look and feel in one month from now, let alone one year, five years, and so on. I have no control over many components of what’s to come and that can be terrifying. This is where it can be helpful to lean on your spirituality or trust in something greater. When discomfort arises being in this unknown territory, identify the feelings, take a breath, and remind yourself that you are ready and prepared to take on whatever comes your way, and that you trust that all will work out. Because let’s face it, haven’t you made it through every challenging thing you have encountered thus far? Why would this situation be any different? Take another breath. Share your thoughts and feelings with someone you trust.

Capture this phase and these moments. Enjoy these last days, weeks, months being that family of three, or in that position at work, or with your girlfriends being single post-split. Take pictures and be present. You will not always be in this place, as the one constant is change and very soon you will find yourself in a different position. Remember who you were at this time so we can start working on step two of this process which is all about BECOMING.

Although this may not appear to be the fun part of the process, trust me when I say its essential. It will clear space for what’s to come. It will release unnecessary garbage you are carrying around with you. It will provide you personal insights that allow for better self-awareness therefore deeper connections with others. And, it can help you appreciate yourself and all you have been through while empowering you to take courageous steps moving forward that elevate your life in so many ways.

This is the work I am oh so passionate about. If you would benefit from having a guide to help you navigate your love, life or career transition, call me today! If you need support through this grief, but also want to identify the patterns to ultimately make intentional adjustments to your life, let’s get to work now. Click here to find out more information about me and how we can work together. www.BrookeJeanllc.com

Let’s make a minor change in our mindset today by seeing change and transition differently…as an OPPORTUNITY!

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

The 4 Myths of Happiness (Copy)

Hello! (In my best Adele voice) Thank you for visiting my blog and reading my VERY first blog post. I am beyond thrilled to share my journey and learning’s with each and every one of you. I had no idea how important connecting to my purpose was until recently when graduation and opening my private counseling and coaching practice came to fruition. Many twists and turns in my life led me to this point…the point of living my purpose of healing and helping others. There is something spiritually meaningful about knowing deep in your soul you are on the right path and feeling that what you are doing is significant. But how did I get here??? It certainly wasn’t a clear and easy road.

Growing up, I tended to be a caretaker.  Being the first born of three children, I had the opportunity and duty to help take care of my siblings.  When my sister was born with a brain tumor, our lives were turned upside down.  I realized at the tender age of eight years old just how precious life was, and also how fortunate I was to have my health.  Witnessing my younger sister’s strength (along with my families’) to overcome major health obstacles, I became inspired by how happy this little girl could be while suffering and fighting for her life.

On the darker side, and yes I believe there is almost always a darker side to things, I developed an intense pressure within myself to not be a problem adding to the family distress. This self-discipline (it was not expected of me, I solely created it) evolved into a perfectionist, people pleasing personality which led to many more problems down the road. I did well in school, impressed people socially, and was active in extracurricular activities. That was until middle school – when my organic development (searching for my identity) collided with my anger turned inward – where things started going downhill. As my heath began to deteriorate with an eating disorder, my sister’s health was much better and she was stable. Life is all about balance, isn’t it?

As I began to recover and was back on track in high school, my brother was facing serious struggles. Thinking back, my parents really never got a break. It’s not my place to share his story in detail but let’s just say he is a warrior in his own right and we all learned just how important mental health is.

In college, I became pregnant with my son. What a blessing and surprise that was. I would have been on the ten year plan and was having a little TOO much fun. Cleaning up my act, I wanted to graduate on time, and have a steady job lined up beforehand. That is how I ended up being a leader at Target. They had a paid internship and in that experience I saw a reliable career that could support my son and I (his father and I parted ways when I was pregnant and have co-parented ever since.)

Ten years climbing the corporate ladder flew by in a blink of an eye, and my son was growing up way too fast. I met my husband at Target and life was looking up. Everyone’s health was intact (for the most part) and life was unfolding as it was supposed to. My career however took a toll on me. The people pleaser in me did not know how to say “No” and was trying to prove my worth through work accomplishments. When paired with the skeletons and demons whom I had locked in my closet, the scenario led to a severe case of burn out, among other things.

Many of you probably know about and have been affected by the horrendous Aurora theater shootings which occurred across the street from the Target store I managed. Many of our team members were in the theater that night and, devastatingly, we lost one of us that night. Witnessing the grief, confusion, fear, anger, strength and resilience of the community reconnected me to my personal values and desire to help others in a different way than being a leader for a retail organization.
My heart was broken but my natural response during this crisis was to tend to my team’s wounds and in those dark moments my purpose emerged like the sun rising.

I knew I wanted more out of my life and that many things needed to change. I needed to define my worth in ways that were authentic to me, not based on my work performance. I needed to get into therapy and tend to my own lifelong wounds. I needed to be a better example to my son regarding taking care of myself and the world deserved my gifts that were being hidden by my insecurity.
Bravely, I decided to make the move. Leaving Target, because of the people I so dearly loved, was one of the toughest decisions I have ever made. I was known by many and made a good living. BUT my work didn’t have the type of meaning I so desired and longed for. I needed to create balance in my life and starting over felt like the best (and scariest) way how.

I applied for graduate school to get my Masters in Counseling at Regis University and 2.5 years later here we are. What a journey academically and self-reflectively it has been. I am forever transformed and so absolutely clear with who I am (although I will always be a work in progress), what gems I offer the universe and what my purpose is.

Now I get to pay it forward. I get to guide others in finding their authenticity and shining organically in the world. I have the privilege of being with human beings as they work through the deepest parts of themselves while digging to find their gold. I get to reconnect people to their individual values and help them live in a more present and meaningful way.
You will find that many of my blog posts will be true to my story, vulnerable and real, while also providing some information and tips on how to become the best you.

I would love to hear from you! What’s your story? And how has it connected you to your purpose? What wellness tips are you most interested in? Please do always share your thoughts, feelings, and feedback with me.

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean