The Pandemic is a Pressure Cooker for Change
Sometimes we can get so blocked and feeling stuck that we are unable to see what needs to change or where we need to pivot.
Sometimes we can get so blocked and feeling stuck that we are unable to see what needs to change or where we need to pivot. The pandemic and our current political and social environment has created this pressure cooker for change.
Now, because we are in this collective shift and this pressure for change, we are not seeing clearly where it is that we need to make changes to take advantage of this opportunity and rise into who we are becoming.
Follow along with Brooke Jean as she shares how you can clear out this noise and receive the necessary information to grow, learn, and pivot.
Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,
XO brooke jean
Wellness During COVID-19
Wellness during COVID-19; why your bain and body are responding the way they are to this crisis and therapeutic tools to cope.
Learn how your brain and body are responding to the crisis, and how to cope to experience wellness during COVID-19
Co-Written by Brooke Jean, MA, LPCC and Kristy Eldredge, EdD, LPC, NCC, ACS
Given this time of uncertainty and change, it is common for us to respond with anxiety and fear, often getting stuck in a perpetual cycle of worry, tension, and rumination.
While we all take the practical physical health recommendations of hand washing, sanitizing, and social distancing to manage the spread of the illness, we also need to pay attention to our mental health during this time. Here are some ideas for things you can practice, even within the comfort of your own home. Remember the mind, body, and soul are connected; so attending to the wellness of each component can have an exponential effect on our overall state.
The Body
We cannot effectively manage stress and worry without getting our body involved. Our nervous system is designed to detect and respond to perceived threat – this is its primary job and it has had a LONG time (think evolution) to get this right. Understanding what our nervous system is designed to do and why it does this will allow you to interpret your physiological reactions without pathologizing them. The ability to notice and interpret our nervous system’s responses can ultimately give you the power to regulate the reactions that arise, coming back to a state of safety in your body.
Understanding the Basics of the Nervous System: here, knowledge is a huge part of the battle. Learn to translate your nervous system’s dialogue with you by watching this easy to understand (and entertaining) video:
The Polyvagal Theory: The New Science of Safety and Trauma by Seth Porges
Utilizing the Breath: sometimes we think breathing is simple. We do it all day long, right? However, when we truly breathing correctly, utilizing all areas of our lungs, reaching the air down into the diaphragm, moving the belly in and out the impact is tremendous. Spending even five minutes focusing on inhaling through the nose, exhaling through the mouth (make it audible!) can make a world of difference for your body, mind and soul. For an extra bit of fun, focus on breathing in something you need or want (peace, calm) and exhaling something you don’t need to hold onto (fear, anxiety, anger).
Grounding the body: times of stress pull our awareness into our minds and out of our bodies, which means out of the present moment. When you notice this happening, bring your attention back to the body and the present moment by engaging all of your five senses. Using the physical space around you, name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can feel, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell or taste, and finally 1 thing you appreciate about yourself in this moment. For an extra dose of grounding, wiggle your toes and heals into the floor, feeling the solidness, softness, texture, or temperature of the ground as it connects with your feat.
Exercise and yoga: although many people are choosing not to go to gyms or classes right now, it is important to continue moving our bodies, getting our heart rates up and engaging our muscles. Try out these ideas for at-home movement:
Yoga with Adriene on YouTube.com
Walk / run the stairs in or around your place
Walk /run around the block or if you’re lucky enough to have a park nearby
Active Spring Cleaning: as many of us seem to be motivated to disinfect everything right now, why not make it a productive cleansing of our physical space, to model a cleanse of our emotional space, as well! Our external environment reflects and impacts our internal environment and vice versa. Plus, it’s a great way to keep your body active while inside.
Nourish your Body: whether we are healthy or under the weather, giving our body the nutrients, water, medication, and rest that it needs are frequently overlooked acts of self-love. Listen to what your body needs and respond to it. Ways we might do this include:
Cooking healthy meals
Drinking lots of water
Managing the intake of substances like alcohol, marijuana, sugar, caffeine
Music and Dancing: put on the tunes and move your body! Be silly, graceful, energetic…whatever you’re feeling inside, use the music and dance to express it externally. Find a song that tells your story; use your body to convey that story. If you have someone to dance with dance to make each other laugh, smile or simply connect with (pets are great for this, too).
The Mind
Given that our minds are always active and it is part of our instinctual survival system to focus on the negative, we need to be actively practicing the redirection of our thoughts away from a non-stop spiral of worry. Give some of these strategies a try!
Audio podcasts: giving your mind a conversation or story to follow audibly can help channel the mind’s energy away from its own spiral and into a more productive direction, enjoying entertainment and learning at the same time! Here are some great ones to try:
The Adult Chair
10% Happier
Tara Brach
Oprah’s Master Class or Super Soul Conversations
Where Do We Begin?
Arm Chair Experts
Meditation: practicing the art of present moment observation of our thoughts, without judgment, is an incredible exercise towards a healthier relationship with our thoughts. Meditation allows us to not be ruled by our thoughts but to instead notice them with perspective and self-awareness. Try these apps for a variety of guided meditations:
Calm
Headspace
Insight Timer
10% Happier
The Mindfulness App
Audio books and traditional books: Reading is an incredible way to redirect the mind when it begins to obsess and spiral. Try both the audio and written delivery to see how each can help in different ways. If you’re anything like me, you have at least a couple of books you’ve never finished on your bookshelves. Or for new options, check out these resources:
Free Local library apps:
Libby, Overdrive, Kindle (yes, they access libraries), Hoopla
Audible
Look for inspirational books, especially!
Artwork and Creativity: channeling your thoughts, fears, and worry into works of creativity can not only help you release the energy from your mind and body but can also provide a sense of creation and accomplishment. Using creative modalities to externalize the distress also provides a fun activity to do with family, kids, and partners. Try some of these activities:
Coloring books for all ages
Journaling
Use old magazines lying around the house to create a vision board for what you want your life to look like going forward
Cooking – challenge yourself to your own version of “Chopped” a la the Food Network
Make homemade play dough using flour, salt, boiling water, and either Kool-Aid or food coloring. Add essential oils for an additional aromatherapy element (great for sensory regulation, too)!
Compassion for all parts of yourself: we all have different sides of our selves. From the part of us that manages responsibility and works hard at our jobs, to the part that can let loose with the best of them, it is common for the different aspects of ourselves to have differing responses during times of fear and stress, as well. Especially during anxiety-producing times, check in on the young / child part in you, who likely feels afraid and not sure if they are going to be okay. Compassionate inner dialogue, just like a loving parent to a child, can reassure this part of ourselves that may be genuinely scared right now.
Spiritual or religious practice: if you identify with a spiritual belief system, engaging in this practice, especially during difficult times, can help you stay connected to something larger than the immediate events surrounding us, with a sense of love and connection. Here are some possible ways to practice connecting with your higher power, God, the universe or however you find connection with something larger than you.
Prayer
Meditation
Gratitude
Spiritual traditions and routines like reading sacred texts (Bible, Torah, Quran, etc.).
Acts of forgiveness
Acts of service and kindness
Listening to meaningful music
Giving your negative thoughts to your higher power
Focusing on the power of nature
The Soul
Connecting with others: even if we are serious introverts, the fact is we are social beings. It is in our evolutionary history and in our cells. Thus, when we don’t have regular engagement in some way, we can feel dysregulated, lonely, and just generally unhealthy. Here are some ways to engage with others even if they aren’t in your immediate environment.
Video phone calls
Marco Polo app allows for sending videos back and forth
Take pictures of what you’re doing and send to friends for picture conversations
Look through existing photo albums
Good old fashioned phone conversations
Play games with others online
Watch live streaming events such as the Seattle Symphony Orchestra
Remind yourself that there are people in the world who truly care about you even if you aren’t currently able to connect. As your therapist, I am one of these people who cares about you!
I hope that some of these ideas will spark your interest and invite you to be active in your efforts towards wellness over anxiety during this difficult time. Focus on what you do know, the choices you do have (even if they’re not your favorites) and the ways that we can still connect with others. You certainly have your own individual go-to strategies so make sure you’re listening to yourself and nurture your own needs.
One last note, I am currently offering a BRAND NEW online series called Tame Your Anxiety: Tending To Your Nervous System. In under an hour learn how to calm your anxiety by tending to your nervous system and understanding how perceived threats affect your brain and body. Walk away with knowledge, insight, and 5 life-changing therapeutic tools.
For further support, book a call with me today
Contact co-author Kristy Eldredge, EdD, LPC, NCC, ACS:
Kristyeldredge1@gmail.com/ 720-284-2031 (p)
Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,
XO brooke jean
Putting the Mindfulness into March
How are you finding the good in every day? Brooke Jean Counseling and Coaching shares some tips for Mindfulness in these days of uncertainty.
Friends, March 2020 came in LIKE A FREAKING HURRICANE. The whole world feels turned upside down and I know many of us are deep in our feelings about the impact of COVID 19 and all of the subsequent closures. It’s scary and it can be a lot.
In my recent VLOG, I shared ways to use Mindfulness as a tool during times such as this, times of extreme uncertainty. Recognizing and creating space for the fear and anxiety at the moment is necessary, but so is also making a point to look for the good in every single day.
Here are some simple tips for helping all of us find the good in each day. These are tips to help us all stay well in our mind and body. I hope you all enjoy slowing down, pausing, and considering these tips for Mindfulness.
Pause and take 3 deep belly breaths.
Notice the clouds moving in the sky.
Pause and notice 5 things you see, smell, hear, taste and feel.
Take a walk with a smile on your face.
Take mini-pauses and breathe when transitioning from one thing to the next.
Set a timer on your phone to remind yourself to check in on your thoughts, feelings and body sensations.
Meditate – I love the Calm app!
When eating or drinking something, pause and notice the smell, texture, and taste. Slow the process down.
Remind yourself, you are enough. Say to yourself, I am enough.
When you find yourself worrying about the future, just notice you are doing it and gently bring your awareness back to the present moment by focusing on your breath.
Listen to your favorite music, dance and notice how that feels in your body.
Write out a daily mantra or intention and check in on it throughout the day.
Mindfulness is the state of being completely present, meeting your thoughts, feelings and body sensations with curiosity and acceptance- and without judgment. It is a state of being and a healthy way to regulate, connect, heal, and grow. I wish you all love, acceptance, and patience with yourself. May you have a #MindfulMarch.
Whatever came forward when asking yourself these questions is ready and willing to be acknowledged, released, and let go. Now for the fun part, what are you making space for?
Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,
XO brooke jean
How to Heal From A Break-Up
Breaking up can shake us to our core! So how do we consciously work through a love transition?
Heal. Become. Thrive.
Breaking up is hard to do. Yep, indeed. Actually, quite understated. Breaking up can shake us to our core! So how do we consciously work through a love transition?
In short order: Heal. Become. Thrive
That is the model.
Take your time with this process as it is not linear and can feel rather messy. I like to use the image of an ocean, where sometimes the water feels calm and your feet are securely buried in the soft sand and with the sun, the salt, and the breeze you hold a moment of space where you feel like everything will be ok. But then the next day, TSUNAMI!!!! The waves are so tall and powerful that you fear you’ll never come up for air and if you do, you’ll never be the same.
Wherever you are at with your ocean today is safe and okay my friends.
Whether the breakup was your choice or not, there is a great deal of grief that comes with the ending of a relationship. Even if you fantasized about getting out of it for years, once you are in the process, all sorts of feelings could begin to emerge and start to flow through you.
If your boat feels completely rocked and unstable, it is normal. Keep feeling and breathing your way through it.
If you’re feeling scared and uncertain about the future, also normal, keep feeling and breathing your way through it.
Express yourself, share your feelings with someone safe or in your journal.
Openly address all that you will miss about this person and the relationship.
Remember the good times and the bad.
Take 10 minutes a day to sit alone and consciously grieve. To do this, find a space where you will not be interrupted and check in on how you are REALLY feeling that day. Let the feelings bubble up and meet them with gentle kindness. You can even acknowledge them, “There’s the sadness, the loneliness, the fear, the worry coming up.” Breathe deeply.
Take care of your physical and mental health – get outside, move your body, eat well, laugh sometimes, listen to music, talk, stretch, meditate, and sleep.
Surround yourself with love, support and connection. Whether that be a daily check-in on the phone with your bestie, asking for special accommodations at work while you move through this transition, or joining a support group.
Stay connected.
Empower yourself with knowledge about the process and other people’s experiences but be careful not to obsess and to leverage your own inner wisdom and the ultimate guidance for your path.
Visualize what life will look and feel like on the other end of this journey. Imagine yourself content and at peace, being your most authentic self, walking in the world sure of who you are and what you want out of this life.
Get clear on your values, goals, and what you want. What is one small thing you can do that moves you toward that each and every day? Honor yourself, your feelings and who you are becoming now that you have split wide open to rebuilding in a healthy and authentic way.
Transition is a time for TRANSFORMATION.
This transition is changing you, and the exciting thing is, you get to decide who you are becoming.
Often, the storm shakes us up to get us on the right path.
Chaos precedes change.
So, hold on for the ride, my dear. You have survived life up until this point, you will survive this as well.
Take the time to heal and then to become, intentionally. (Visit here to read another BJCC blog about being in Love Limbo.)
And when you honor that, you are sure to thrive again.
You are and always will be deserving of love.
If you are feeling vulnerable and in need of some support and help, we are glad you are here. Contact Brooke now and start your path to healing today. Additionally, consider further reading with BJCC’s blog about co-parenting post separation.